Any thoughts on the matter?
I really think I have it. I suck at being alone. I hate when I'm alone. I'm on my cell phone constantly when I am alone. I get really sad when Craig has plans that don't include me. And I freak out if he is 3 minutes late returning from those plans. I start making up things in my head - that he hates me, that he's dead in a gutter, that he doesn't want to be around me, that something terrible happened and I am not there to help. I never think he is doing anything "bad" ... it's just the thoughts that he is having more fun with other people then with me (usually he is working, or out with clients so when I'm sane - I know this isn't the case at all). I then will start thinking of all the "mean" things he's done to me (which don't exist) and when he gets home I'm mad at him. So that when he's excited to get home to me and tell me about his time and how much he missed me and wished I was there ... I am mad for no reason.
I hate going places alone - even if I know I am meeting up with dozens of other people. I get very anxious and easily agitated. I am afraid I will get lost. Or hurt. Or kidnapped. Yeah I know I'm a coo-coo for cocoa puffs. It's funny cause Craig said I am a fairly "sane" girl and that this anxiety comes out of no where. He says, and I believe, that I am very confident. And also very outgoing. I love to be the center of attention at parties and can always find the bright side of things. But for some reason, being alone, makes me crazy. I guess I have too much time to think, and not enough time to think straight!
I just wish that I could figure out a good way to get through the times when I'm alone - which aren't often! I guess I need to focus on the good things rather then the bad. I need to read a book or watch TV or something ... anything. Anyone ever been through this?
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3 comments:
My mom and I are interested in personality types. It sounds like you're very, very extroverted: extroverted people get energy from being with other people (introverted people get energy from being alone). It sounds like you need other people, in order to thrive. It's not weird: extroverts are what keep us a linked-up society.
But obsessing over people hating you or being dead if you're not with them, and worrying about being kidnapped---that's a little weird!
Haha yeah, I think those last comments may have been a bit exaggerated/stream of conciousness while writing. I cant say I've thought that way too many times!
I've never thought of the "get energy from other people" thing but it totally makes sense. I am definitely an extreme extrovert. Any personality test I have ever taken I am like off the charts an "E" instead of an "I" ... I'll have to look into it.
Thanks :)
I'm more of an extreme introvert. I enjoy being alone as long as I'm at home. When it comes to going out I need someone with me to hide behind cause I'm shy and don't want to have to make conversation with anyone I'm not extremely comfortable with. You would never catch me at a party where I didn't know someone. I also have anxiety about the bad things that could happen, but I blame my mother for that. I guess we are all our own brand of crazy!
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